Devin

Precious Kevin

Devin's sweet grin

Devin being fed by his proud dad (my lil' bro who's not so little anymore)

Blessed Twice

Devin and Kevin

I never thought the day would come when my heart would finally be given to another-only now it's been given to two others! My brother's twins are now the light of my life. It's amazing how one little smile (even if it is because of gas) can capture your heart forever. And the way that their little eyes just stare at you as if soaking you in. My heart pulled as I held these two precious gifts from God, and I knew I was a goner. And when they snuggle close to you as they go back to sleep...gosh. I don't think I've ever envied anyone as much as I did my brother in those moments I held my precious nephews. I wanted to pack them away and run off with them! :)

Devin

I can't even describe how blessed I feel to have these two boys in my life now. Life seems sweeter, richer, brighter than it's ever been before, and their not even my kids. haha. But they feel like they are. Though I didn't give birth to them, my heart now holds places reserved just for their smiles, tears, and laughter. No one will ever be able to take their place, their so precious.

Me holding Devin

I felt so scared when I first held them. It's been a long time since I've held a newborn baby, since my little Correne Rose was born. (not mine, but mine as in my cousin, just so there's no mistake. haha) At first when I held them, I was sooo terrified. Little Devin likes to squirm all over the place. He's the gasiest kid I've ever had to hold. lol. He's so much like my brother, in features and in personality. It's going to be fun watching him grow up and the mess he's going to get him and Kevin into.

Me holding Kevin

When I got to hold Kevin, he was sooo sweet. When you're holding a baby, you have to smell them, it's a rule. He smelled soo sweet and babyish. He's going to be the sweet responsible big brother, though he's only older by 5 seconds. But he won't be able to resist little Devin's smiles and strong personality. Kevin just looks at you the whole time he's being held, when he's not sleeping. He just stares and stares, and when he smiles, it's like a ray of sunshine right through your heart and you know you're a goner. Both of these boys are going to be lookers, and I pray with everything in me that they become men after God's own heart. Like David, only without the adultery and murder. lol.

Father, I lift these precious gifts to you. Though they aren't mine to give, I pray Lord that You keep Your hand upon their lives. Watch over them as they grow, and may they grow ever more in You each day that You lend them breath. Be with their health and keep them strong, may their parent's and the rest of us remember how precious they really are. Thank You for them Father. They are rays of light in the darkness. You never cease to amaze me.

God Knows

God knows, and that is enough for me. WRONG. It should be enough for me that He knows, but it really isn't. That just shows how much faith I have huh? But, His way is ALWAYS best.
Take for instance, my crazy lil' bro. (He doesn't mind I'm sharing this. haha)

My brother has been so different since he hit the age of...oh, I dunno, probably 16 or so. Possibly earlier than that he wasn't the same because he started talking back, which changed to treating my mom really bad (he loved her, he's just got that Irish temper). He stopped going to church and believing in God, and all the girls he dated were horrible for him. I admit, I didn't like ANY of his girlfriends. I didn't didn't they were good enough for him and they definitely weren't any help for him spiritually. I seemed to be the only person he would listen too, and when I would come home from college we would talk. Eventually, to make a long story short, my brother eventually moved in with his girlfriend and she ended up pregnant with twins. They were born on October 15th 2008, our sister's birthday. :) They're the cutest little things. I wouldn't want to trade them for the world, so that's one good thing (or in this case two) that has come from what we thought was going to be tragic. Another good thing, and THE best one of all, my brother and his girlfriend accepted Jesus this past Sat! Man, it's a great feeling. Of course, I didn't know this would the be result of everything he had to go through and do to get to this point, but God knew. He could've made it a lot easier on my brother in a couple of things, but He's a loving God who let my brother make his own way, and that way eventually led back to his TRUE FATHER.

That's helped me take comfort in the unknown and unexplained, no not UFOs or aliens. :) God is so much bigger than my happiness, pain, ecstasy, anger, whatever the emotion, my God can handle it all. He's good like that. :) In EVERY situation, it's only for HIS good and my WELL-BEING that HE'S the one holding my hand, and leading me. Lately I've been the one doing the leading, the blind leading the all-knowing. funny huh? But, God has reminded me of WHO I am and WHERE HE'S brought me from. I could never have done anything without Him, though in my ignorance I've chosen too at times. I'm doing my best to change that.

Lord, lead me. Guide me, comfort me, remind me that YOU are the only One who could ever love me like I deserve. Hold me Father. I'm Yours, and Yours alone.

Holding Hands

One of my friends at work said something funny today that I, of course, decided to think on and dissect. A couple came down to the IRC and they were holding hands. My friend said, "I hate it when couples hold hands and absolutely won't let go! As if letting go means they are lost to each other forever!" She then proceeded to tell me a story about a couple who were holding hands and going through a door. They couldn't fit together because it was too small and instead of letting the other hand go and going through and reclaiming it again, they trickly made their way through without letting go.

God's like that. He doesn't want to let go of my hand, but I'm constantly pulling away. It reminds me of the beginning of the lifehouse video. The part where the girl is enticed away from a dance with God to dance with a cute guy (whom I've always believed to be the "boyfriend", good or bad). I don't have a guy to distract me from God, I have TONS of them. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have any beaus or what have you. I'm just me....Karye Cook....always seeking for love from the wrong people when I should be focused on a Person, Almighty God.
God never wants to break that hold on me. Why O why would I want to break my hold with HIM?????

I know I've posted twice in one day...so sue me. :) consider it a blessing. ha

Jesus, THE best friend

Jesus would be the absolute greatest friend.
He wouldn't get bored with you and move on to someone else.
He wouldn't use you to get when He wanted/needed for Himself.
He wouldn't put you down, point out your flaws, or talk about you behind your back.
He would stand up for you when others talked poorly of you.
He would listen to you. Be happy when you were, and sad when you weren't.
He would sit around and waste an afternoon with you. Just because.
He would care and love you more than He did Himself.
He would give you shotgun everytime.
He's the only one that can love more than ANYone that you know.
(This is taken from someone elses blog site, I liked it so much I had to have it on mine...just so you know it's not from my own thoughts. haha)

It's amazing how ridiculous I can be whenever I'm longing for that perfect friend and confidant and He's all around me...waiting. Honestly, sometimes I wish God weren't so passive/aggressive. Forget my free will God, You know what's best for me, do yo thing! But no, I have to be taught a lesson, I have to learn and understand that I CAN'T live this life on my own. Sure I could choose too, but life wouldn't be worth living without the only One that gives me breath.