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First, I'm soooo excited because I finally have a chance to get off campus and away from everyone I'm always around!!!!! You have no idea! For about 11 days I am going to church camp in Michigan with my grandparents. It use to be a family tradition where my family and my grandparents would go, along with my cousins. Man what great times! Now everyone's grown up and married, with no money. lol. So, I have a chance, maybe my last one to go and seek the face of my God. I know He's everywhere, but honestly I don't feel Him on campus or around my friends. Not that it's their problem but my problem. It's all me. I have a lot that I have to listen for. There's something that I'm interested in doing after I graduate and it's like God placed it in my lap right after I prayed for guidance. I've been dreaming about it too and my aunt amber, whom I love so much, gave some great advice. She said that if it's on my heart and mind all the time when I'm not thinking about it, it's gotta be God. So, I'm seeking Him on this area as well. I want to do something for my Savior. I feel so worthless here on campus with faces I see every single day. I need new sights, smells, sounds, faces, tastes. I just need to be refreshed.
Second, things are so crazy right now. I won't expand but growing up sucks, seriously. Growing up and growing apart sucks but it's apart of life and I'm ready for it. I've been emailing one of my greatest friends, Natalie, and she's a smart cookie. I miss her so much! She is, next to Holly whose in Africa, someone I can talk to about anything and I get honest feedback no matter how much it hurts. I've been emailing her back and forth about different things and she's really helped me see the light on a couple of issues. It's great when God gives you people in life who He knows will enrich it. How amazing is God?
Thirdly, no matter how much I grow up there will always be apart of me that will be immature is childish. I see myself at the age of 49 and still cracking jokes with friends like I do. I'm a 15yr old trapped in an almost 23yr old body! Speaking of, holy poo! Two more months and I'm going to be 23! I don't feel it at all. I still feel 15 or at the very least 18, and I look it too. lol.
Fourthly, I dunno why I'm counting....but this is the last thing. My life is always changing but I know the one Who's unchanging. When things seem to be awkward and tense in life, I know that my God has things under control. I may not know what's going on, and I'm learning that's okay. He knows and that should be enough for me to give me peace of mind. I'm working on it. :)
I'm learning to love life, the ups and the downs. It's all apart of His plan. I'm just along for the ride. lol.