Light in a world of Darkness

WARNING...POST MAY BE EXTREMELY LONG. CAN BE READ IN PIECES. :) ALSO CONTAINS "FEELINGS" AND "EMOTION" FOR ALL YOU UNEMOTIONAL PEOPLE. LOL. you know who you are, but please, by all means don't let that stop you. :)

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven" -Matt. 5:16

"Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of going wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us." -1 Peter 2:12

What a responsibility Christians have on their shoulders. To be reflections of Christ, One who while on this earth, was Pure, and Holy. Those are mighty big sandals to fill! I think the one thing that Christians forget is that Christ gives us strength...either we don't ask for it, or we don't believe it. I know this is random, but one of my roommates and I were talking today while I was going to Target, and we talked about this subject. I dunno how we got on it, but it was definitely illuminating. (Isn't that a great word? Illuminating...) Anyway, we got on the subject of Christians who give other Christian a bad name. It's so sad, and one of my greatest pet peeves when a "Christian" can ruin the name for everyone!
One my examples comes from Pastors, who both just so happen to come from my church. The first pastor isn't there anymore. My dad used to go to church every time the doors were open. He felt the call of being a pastor on his life and wanted to preach. He was always in the Word and on fire for God. The one thing that stopped him was the pastor at that time. He confronted my dad and told him that no one who smoked was going to preach behind HIS pulpit. I can understand where it's a bad image for a pastor to smoke and preach, but instead of speaking this in a loving manner, he attacked my dad causing my dad's enthusiasm and attendance to go to zilch. Well, a couple of months ago, I'll say 5 to 6 months ago my dad was back in church because a very good friend of ours became our new pastor after the former pastor that confronted my dad left. Only 3 months ago this pastor decides to verbally attack my mom in a moment of anger. Turns out, he's been angry at my mom for 4 years now. Talk about coming out of left field! He's never showed this or anything until the day he confronted my mom. This was such a blow to my family. There's so much more to this story, and since this is my blog, I'm getting it all out. So, FYI, this could be a very LONG post. lol. Sorry. What can I say? I'm a blogger. :) So..where was I? Oh yea, well my family makes up a good percentage of the church. I come from a country church...real country. It all started when he got pastor, certain people were put on the board that shouldn't even be there. These people don't like the fact that my family practically "runs" the church as they put it, especially my mom. They've influenced my pastor, and apparently his anger had a part as well. Well my dad is furious after this. He keeps going after much arguing until the day that we are there and another confrontation after church in front of everyone happens between my mom and the pastor again. I don't realize because I'm outside. I'm sitting in a friends car waiting for my family when from the rear view mirror I see my mom walking to the back of the church, crying, with my Nanny (grandmother) following her. There are several things that I can't take in life that make me so mad I can hurt someone. The number one thing I can't stand is seeing my mom cry. I'd rather someone torture me to death than see that, and I'm dead serious. My mom and I have been through so much. I was the one that had to be there for the break down after the first time my dad left her. I was the one that held her and tried to pray as she cried in my arms. I was the one that was there through all the tears. I don't care who you are or how close I am to you, you do not make my mom cry. So...now that I've gotten that off my chest, when I saw her that day crying behind the church, I literally saw red. I was out of that car faster than the pastor could say Amen and in his face. It was a very good thing that he was already talking to someone because I had a chance to cool down. I'm glad to say that I handled the situation with the Grace that only comes from God. I didn't cry (as I usually do when I'm mad) and I didn't tear him to pieces. I was the three C's...literally. It was all G-O-D. I won't go into that conversation. Several days later my dad was called to meet with the pastor at the church alone. On this day, my dad's pride and faith in people...and sadly in Christ was shattered. The pastor accused my dad of so many things....that's one thing I hate about a small church. Everyone knows every one's business. He even called my dad a "bum" and accused him of not supporting his family. This is another thing you do not do. You do not call my dad any kind of names and accuse him of not trying to support his family. My dad's had a bad back since I was 12. He's tried to work, but one of the downsides about applying for a job is that you have to be accepted. He never was because of his back. He's done odd jobs for people like, carpentry, roofing, sheet rocking...and he's come home in so much pain that it hurt me to watch. My may be many things....but he is NOT a bum.
All of this to say, dude...us Christians, we need to STEP IT UP! Satan has long ago been aware of our weaknesses. He knows where to strike and he won't hesitate. I know it's easier said than done...believe me....but don't put yourself in situations you'll regret later. Someone is always watching........I'm serious. It feels like there may not be consequences then....but afterward...there are ALWAYS consequences even when we can't see them...especially when we can't see them. Remember...God knows our hearts and our minds. That's enough to scare me..We are so lucky, BLESSED to have the only God on our side. I'm not perfect...sometimes I know what I'm about to do is wrong...sadly I even plan it ahead, knowing that I'm putting myself in a situation that will be extremely hard to get out of, thinking afterward...I can always ask for forgiveness later. I'M TIRED OF USING THAT AS A CRUTCH. It's time that I become the LIGHT God has called us to be in the Darkness. I'm ready to finally take a stand...I'm through being a mediocre Christian!! I wanna be everything, anything, I can be for my God, my Lover, my Father, my Life, my very Best Friend, my ALL. I WANT CHRIST TO CONSUME ME.

"I looked, and behold, the glory of the Lord filled the house of the Lord, and I fell upon my face." -Ezekiel 44:4


DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING STATED HERE IN THIS POST IS MOSTLY POINTED TOWARDS ME. IF YOU FEEL CONVICTED, ASK YOURSELF WHY. I DID.