I want more than anything to be the title of this new post, only more than a title. I feel God tugging my heart strings so often, especially when I start...and this is kinda embarrassing...but especially when my attention starts straying to good lookin' men of God. That's right, you've caught me. :) Why, you ask, does He especially do this when I look (and not touch mind you)? Because in my heart I know, and it's what He's telling me by tugging those strings, that I'm not ready. As much as I long to shower someone with all the love I possess in my heart, I know that a relationship would take me away from God, and it seems like we've just started getting to know each other. My heart still longs to be cherished, but God tugs and reminds me, "Karye, I cherish you. I hold you. I love you. Allow me to shower you with my affection. You are loved." Shouldn't that be enough!? (that's to all you peps out there that read and comment)
Aw man, God, I long for it to be! But I also can't help feeling like I'm incomplete somehow, even though You're a huge part of my life, my everything. Could it be that You really aren't these things because of some fault of my own? I can always dig deeper, pray harder, love more, worship often...but I still feel so far away and lacking a part of me in someway. I'm always trying to perfect myself before coming to You, but then I realize, You love me just as I am. Of course I'm going to strive to be more like You, but such a weight has lifted off my shoulders knowing that I am loved despite my longing for someone else. How that must break Your heart and it hurts me to think that I'm hurting You. Be my everything!
3 comments:
Amen sister. Its so hard to remember that God is there to take care of that missing void in our lives(input fellow). For me I know this, but I easily forget. Thanks for reminding my of my true longing heart. By the way I would love to point out something that made me laugh so hard I almost could not finish reading the rest of your post. I have my internet box minimized a little so its not all stretched out and this is how I read one of your sentences without going to the next line "... As much as I long to shower someone..." ha ha I laughed for a while then read on, but had a hard time taking it serious for a while. I took a second then read it seriously. but I just thought i'd let you know that it gave me quite the chuckle friend!!!
LOL! Ems that's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously i laughed loud at work and scared this elderly woman on the computer. hahahahaha. man that's great!! You've made my night friend! :)
I liked your blog. I love and miss you lotz Karye ake Karbear, GU-ber...lol...i use to have the same void in my heart and when i finely started to give up on the opposite sex and almost decided that, that may not be meant for me but God brought me to Keith. He has his faults but who don't, he's a good man and a good father. He has helped me is so many ways.
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