Lately I've just felt like some thing's getting closer...and it's a good something. I dunno if it's because of the book I just got through reading that's giving me this emotion but I just feel...expectant and hopeful. That change is about to happen and it's going to change the norm for me.
The other night I was alone in the apartment and I couldn't sleep so I did what I normally do. I just started talking to God in a small whisper. I talked about my day, my hopes, my dreams. Suddenly I got a strong urge to talk to God about my future husband. I don't even know if he's out there but I just got the urge to pray anyway. So I did. While I was praying, I decided it wouldn't hurt to give God my "wish list", or more like recommendations that must be there along with a few minor details. I've never been the type of girl to talk about what I call "froo froo" things. I mean, sure, in the back of my mind I've always thought about marriage and stuff...but I have dreams that are more pressing than that.
Here's how I see it:
I want to be able to do things without worrying about if it will hurt "his" feelings, or if it will interrupt "his" schedule. I guess right now I'm just too selfish with my own dreams before I can worry about others dreams. I want to be able to travel without thinking about what I've left behind; it's already going to be tough leaving family to go into the Great Unknown. I don't and I won't be the reason for anyone to put their dreams on hold for me, not that I think that highly of myself, I've just seen it happen.
But still...that feeling of expectancy still hasn't gone away since I prayed that prayer. I don't know what it means and I feel childish posting this post, but oh well.
"It's my post and I can do what I want" :) The change that's coming doesn't necessarily coincide with my prayer that night, but it's something different I assure you.
Still...I can't help but wonder what's coming....
1 comment:
woo hoo for the unexpected joy around the corner!!!!! I would like to now recommend a song from west side story now that is literally called : Something Comming. o yeah it will be your jam. So I too love my just before bed convos with God. For me they seemed to be so genuine and so real. I also have thought a lot about my F.F i like to call him or future fellow latley. I just read this book called "and the bride wore white." It not only talks about physical purity before marriage but also true spiritual purity also. One thing I really enjoyed about the book is it talks about praying for you future fellow. and also not being ashamed of having "wish lists" but more welcoming it. If you havent read it, please borrow it! Thanks for the uplifiting blogs friend!
Post a Comment