"For I know the plans I have for you, 'declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to bring you a hope and a future."
This verse has been my scripture throughout my college life...since I was a freshy. God's been constantly whispering this to my heart, and lately it's been a lot stronger because of everything that's been going on. I'm so thankful to my Lord and Savior for all that He's done for me and mine.
I got a call early Thursday morning from my dad saying that Grandpa was in the ICU because of his heart and he was on his way to the hospital. Right after I hung up with my dad, I got a call from my Nanny that my Aunt Leslie who lives in Jacksonville, Florida got caught in the hurricane. She was driving and her SUV got flung against a tree and there's nothing left of it. She was taken to the emergency room and it didn't look good, but she's only got a broken collar bone. The doctor's say she's lucky because the collar bone would've punctured her lung. I say she's blessed, luck has nothing to do with it. See, my aunt's not a Christian and she's been going through a lot. Recently, after leading a Captivating group on campus I really felt lead to send the book to her. I gave a copy to my Nanny who sent it and God's really working on her heart. He's got big plans for my Aunt Leslie. The weird thing....both of these things happened around 4:30 that morning.
All these to say, school hasn't even started yet and already my life is unfolding. lol. I can't do anything but laugh. Even though this semester's got my stomach in knots, even though I feel so lost and alone, I have to laugh. While I may look at this as being excluded or ignored...God is using this time of seeming loneliness to speak to my heart. God is wanting an audience with...me. And by all means, I'm here. For so long I've cried out to God to speak to me, to work in me, to set me apart and use me. How can I pass this moment up just because of fears, worries, and what people do to me? I'm a child of THE King, and that has and should impact my life.
School's about to start. Something in my gut tells me that I need to prepare myself for what lies ahead. There are going to be tremendous amounts of "loneliness" where I feel I have no one to turn to, or no where to run. But I know that's not true. My friends may fail me, but I don't fault them that. People may act "heartless", but I know that it's just a facade. As children of God, you do care, you have to care. It's in caring that you ARE like Him.
I'm not perfect. Even though every day I strive to be....God wants so much more than perfection. He wants my love, my desire, my all to be for Him. He wants to be wanted as much as I do! And I want to want Him with all that I have, nothing held back. No matter what life hurtles my way, I stand wrapped in the arms of my Best Friend and Lover.
For what does it profit a man to gain the world, but lose his soul?
1 comment:
I am so sorry about your aunt and grandpa! I do not miss the nervous feeling I always get before school starts, but it is so strange to not be going back at all! I do miss you! What I meant about being a little crazy last night is that I wrote that post the day after I called him, the night when I was like "I gotta call him, ahhhh, I wanna see him NOW" but by the time I wrote the post I had settled down. And he hasn't called back yet, the poophead.
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