Life is crazy

Lately, my life has been just a constant stream of crazy. School is winding down and graduation is just around the corner, making me very excited and very nervous. My YIM trip is just around that corner and then I'll be gone for two months. I'm nervous about my trip, mostly because of the different foods that are there. I wish I wasn't a picky eater. I asked my psychology professor in class yesterday if it was possible to hypnotize someone to eat certain kinds of foods, so they would think they like it. He said, sure I don't see why not. So I replied, how much is this going to cost me? But he wouldn't do it, I was serious though. haha. Oh, well. I keep praying that God will change my taste buds and I'm going to keep praying that until the trip is over.

These past couple of weeks school has been going by way too fast. I got behind on two major papers (well, one major paper, the other one.....not so major). I couldn't sleep or anything for the past few days because I was so far behind and all I could think about while I was suppose to be sleeping was "Holy cow, I won't be able to graduate, when am I going to have time to get all of this done?!" But, this past weekend I got caught up on the major paper and last night I finished the other one. Ya! Now this week, I have to tackle all the papers that are due next week so I will be FRRREEEEEEE!

Oh, and I love how when I tell someone in my family something in secret...naturally my whole family knows, and probably others. :/ When will I ever learn? But I love them and wouldn't trade'em for anyone in the world......well.....except maybe for the guy that plays ryan on the O.C. :) :) ahahahaha, welcome to my world!

I can't stop this feeling anymore

Today, I had a break through...sort of. I never realized how a certain time of the month (only in March) I feel really yucky and sick and like I want to crawl into bed and never ever get out again. I realized today why I feel that way around the beginning of March. On March 2, 2004 (the year I graduated) one of my sister's really really close friends and others in Portland, died in a car crash. It was hard on me because he was suppose to graduate with me that year, and we sat beside each other in the back of our 2nd block class (History). He always, always, sat on his legs, never his butt. And he always talked while the teacher was up front, or read a book and tuned the teacher out. He had a habit of skipping, and he lopped when he walked. David Kyle McGee. I get sick whenever March comes around. I never knew why, but I do. His nickname was Scooby because he loved Scooby Doo. He always reminded me of Steve Martin, and whenever I see him, my chest squeezes and my heart hugs itself. I guess that place will always be there inside, the guilt that I should've been a better witness in class. He was sitting there for a reason, right beside me. It hurts to this day, 5 years later. It's not as bad as it was, granted, but I believe it's there as a reminder to never forget how fragile this life really is. I pray I never forget how quickly a life can go.
"A wave tossed on the ocean, a vapor in the wind"
I'm loved by a Mighty Mighty King. That alone soothes me.

Life As We Know It

Hah. The feelings of getting back into the void. I don't hate it, I'll tell ya that. I've missed being able to blog but haven't been able to because of various reasons, but the one that bugs me is that it wouldn't let me sign on and then I realized it was my fault because I forgot my sign in thingy. Oi. haha.

Life, right now, is all about routine for me. I mean, I've always been one for routine, but since all of my closest buds have graduated from Trevecca I've become a hermit...but I hate that word so I'm going to use the word "routiner" to replace it (even if it isn't a word). Life just...exists for me right now. I find no joy in school anymore, I'm so burnt out it's ridiculous. At least with my friends here I could get by. When we were sophomores, my friends and I believed school was just hanging out and having a blast with your pals. Well....if that's the case, school sucks big time for me now. Classes are okay, I mean there going fine. I struggle to go to two of them (Blann and my psychology class). Chapel has become a hardship too, I've become one of those people that sits in the very very very very back of chapel, ya know...the seats no one knew were there. Yep...life is...going. I've been going home on weekends a lot more...reminds me of freshman year. But I've been going home so much this year because of two reasons: no weekend life on campus, and because I love the church my mom and sis are going to. I've decided that when I graduate and live in Nashville...if everything goes according to "plan" (plan is like that because God has a sense of humor) then I'm going to be going to church there on Sundays. It's worth the drive, Erin actually was my inspiration.

The one thing my life consists of now, that has never been so bad in my life ever before, is I've become a movie buff. I have a netflix account so I go to my instant play and watch whatever looks good...if I love it, I buy it at McKay's. I have to buy another movie rack, that's how much my collection has grown. Which is also bad cause I'm spending money on movies I probably don't need. I should stop.

Well, I've been getting ready for Youth In Mission. I'm pretty stoked about it. I seriously can't wait, though my nerves are going crazy. I really want to do this, and I feel that I also need too. I want to more than I feel I should, but I really need to get out of my "comfort zone" especially the routine I've made here at school. No socializing here is going to effect me a lot when I go on the trip, I can already say that much. The only time I get to hang out and have fun is when my aunt comes over (which has been shot down) or whenever my best buds come up from Smithville.

So, that's life as it stands right now. Invigorating huh? Yea, I thought you'd go to sleep. Who can blame ya?