Your Love Is All I Needed

     My Papa likes to talk a lot about the Bible and the Second Coming and today, at breakfast, he brought up how cruel the cross was. We see it as a symbol of love because of the great sacrifice of Jesus. But it was used then as a symbol of violence and punishment for criminals. My Papa said something that just clicked in my mind about how much God truly loves His people. I've grown up knowing that He's sent His only Son....but...there's so much more to the story and I never got it until this morning.
     Jesus not only had to offer His life as a sacrifice so that our sins would be forgiven...He loves us SO much and He didn't want to leave us alone on earth after He went back to Heaven, so He sent us the Holy Spirit.

 God not only sent us His one and only Son, but also the 

 Great Comforter for when His Son went back to Him...so we would never be alone.

     I've read so many times how God says He will "never leave us or forsake us," but today it didn't click until my Papa said it out loud. He truly has never and will never leave us.  

It's been a rough year and sometimes I get so caught up in my world that I step out of His and forget. Fear takes the Peace and strangles it in dark silence...and I'm left alone. But as we were talking, I could feel the very Spirit we were discussing soothe my troubled soul, and Peace was mine once again because I KNEW...just KNEW that He's been with me. He Sees Me.

Like Naomi in the desert, the one human (a woman I might add), with the gall to NAME GOD. Like her I cry that He is the God who Sees me...and I am at Peace.

Thank you Lord...for You, Your love, and Your most precious Spirit.

Karye <><

Discouraged, yep--Forgotten, heck no!

"I will not forget you! Behold, I have engraved

you on the palms of my hands."

~Isaiah 49:15-16

I don't even know where to start except to say, the Enemy sure has been attacking me and mine lately. It may have something to do with Wednesday night service. It's all coming back to me now. haha. Wednesday we are studying the life of Ezekiel in 2 Kings. We were in chapter 7 and my pastor stopped and asked us if God was providing for the widow and her son even if He had never sent Ezekiel. That led to the discussion of God being good in the hard times even if Christian families are starving, etc. etc. etc. Everyone sounded so down and it made mad, I admit. Sure, this life will throw struggles and hard times our way, but does that make God less? NO! We make Him less. God is still God, even through the hard times. I told everyone this and I also said, what kind of love does that mean we have if life pulls the rug out from under us and we raise our fists to heaven and shout, "You are not good!" Doesn't the scripture say to "have joy in ALL things"? My pastor said that makes us human. I agreed with him, but I said, "Doesn't a God who loves us unconditionally deserve the same love back?" I know we're human, believe me, last time I checked I was too, but I'm tired of hearing that as a scapegoat.

Sure, we're human, we make mistakes. But the God that calls us to follow Him told us what we should expect by doing so. He warned us ahead of time. In the story in Luke where Jesus calls Levi (Matthew) and he drops everything and without questioning, follows Christ, that took some deep trust and faith on his part. In another story, Jesus has someone come up and willingly say, "I will follow you." Jesus then warns him and those around what life will be like to follow Him. It's heartache, it's pain, it's suffering, it's hard, it's tiring, but in the end, through it all if you depended upon His strength to get you through and not your own, it's Joy, it's Light, it's Peace, it's a Strength you never thought could ever be yours, but is there for the taking.

Walking with Christ is hard, but the key word is with Him.

So, why do I feel like the Enemy is striking pretty hard to me and mine? Well, because I shook my fist in his face and said, "I will NOT quit." In the end, everything that I have here on this earth is just on loan to me, that includes my friends and family. My prize...my ultimate goal is not heaven (though that's a bonus), but to see the face of my God and Savior; to hold Him at last in my arms and give Him one of the best hugs I've been saving up--just for Him. To finally tell Him, "I made it. Nothing and no one stood in my way." And to hear His beautiful voice say, "Well done Daughter. Well done."

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished

the race, I have kept the faith."

~2 Timothy 4:7

I encourage those of you who read this blog, to keep on trucking. I don't know what some of you are going through, it's been a very long time since I've talked with most of you about anything deep or personal, but I just want you to know--I'm praying for you brother or sister. We are in this fight to the finish together, and I don't want to leave a man or woman behind. My walk with God is so very important to me. I'm in love with Him. He's my all in all. Draw close to Him, get a hold of His ear--cause you already have His heart. He has not forgotten you, beloved. He see's your struggle and longs to help you. After all, He's on YOUR side. :)

I hold you in my heart,

Karye <.)))><

The One who Sees me

If you stumble across this post, my prayer is that you will be encouraged--that you don't just come to realize but to know you are not alone.

I've gone from a high mountain to where it I felt the Enemy couldn't touch me, to being pulled into a low, low, valley. I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't get in that valley very often, and if I do, I'm definitely not there long enough to make it home. My home has always been on that mountain, that glorious glorious mountain that I inhabit with my Father. But recently issues within my family have started to get to me. It seems as if everyone in my family is going through something different. My sister is going through a time of "finding herself"; my brother is...well...my brother who just wants to do whatever he wants; my dad is lost and drifting in the ocean of life; and my mom just seems to permanently reside in a dark cloud of silence and sadness. Lately the only time her face lights up is when my sister is home or (recently) my dad. When they're here, I feel as if I disappear. Don't get me wrong, I love that they're here (for the most part) and I get to spend time with them. What hurts is I don't bring that smile to my mom's face, I don't light up her face like they do. I've felt alone. I cried out to God and at times I felt even He has forsaken me.

Then, I went to the Women of Joy conference. One of my favorite authors, Liz Curtis Higgs spoke and what she had to say really stuck. What I didn't know then, that I do now, is how much I would need her words. She spoke on Sarah and Abraham, but her focus was on Hagar. In this story, it seems Hagar is used and then tossed aside--but not forgotten. God visited her in the desert beside a river and spoke with her. Hagar was so touched that SOMEONE saw her, that she named Him "You are the God who sees me". It is one thing to know that God knows you and loves you. It is an entirely different thing to be suddenly aware of God's presence and personal care for you. Sarah and Abraham just referred to her in scripture as "the servant girl" and never called her by name, but God did in the desert. He knew her name; He saw her.

God brought this back to me during the past couple of weeks. He reminded me that He sees me even when I feel no one else does. It's been such a Joy and Comfort to me to know, He has His eyes on me. I haven't faded so much that I've disappeared!

And as if that wasn't enough, He reminded me on Sunday through the sermon how much He values me. My pastor spoke on Matthew 13:45-46.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!"

I am this pearl that God found and couldn't be without. He gave up everything in order to have me. He gave His Son so I could be His.

And there's no where else I'd rather be then with Him, always.
I am a pearl. And I am HIS--and He is MINE.

So for those of you out there reading this post; this is for you.
You are valued. You are seen. You are loved. You are not forgotten. There is One who sees you, who treasures you, and who will never leave you. You are more precious to Him than you know, and my prayer is you allow Him to show you how much He adores you.

He loves you beloved.

Until next time, I hold ya'll in my heart <.)))><
Karye

Rainy Days and Mondays Don't Get Me Down

So, I know it's been a while, and by that I mean months and months and months, but hey, all the cool kids are doing so why not? (And by cool kids I mean my friends....and you...I see that hand). I can't blog for very long cause I've got lots to do on my Monday. But I did want to leave you with this verse that is my absolute favorite and the reason why rainy days and Monday's can't get me down.

"For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."
~Zephaniah 3:17 (New Living Translation)

I love you Lord, and I lift my voice. To worship you, O my soul, rejoice. Take joy my King. In what you hear. May it be a sweet sweet sound, in Your ear.

I hold you in my heart, <.)))><
Karye

And Now I'm back....

From cyberspace....

Hey guuyyyyysssss! I forgot alllll about this here blog thingy until I saw that Erin had updated hers on facebook. Ahh, bloggers life is swwweeeeettt. This will be a quickie, kay?

I got a full-time job at the library here in my hometown. It's awesome and something I really wanted but when I got the job, two weeks later, I'm feeling lost and empty again. I was talking to my Pastor about it and he said "Seek Jesus." Nothing else will ever satisfy you, NOTHING.

So now, I'm trying my best to seek Jesus. I found that difficult at first since I thought I already HAD Him, but one can always drink from that well and never run dry. Believe me when I say, I'm thirsty and I'm not even to the point where I feel bloated yet!

Life is crazy

Lately, my life has been just a constant stream of crazy. School is winding down and graduation is just around the corner, making me very excited and very nervous. My YIM trip is just around that corner and then I'll be gone for two months. I'm nervous about my trip, mostly because of the different foods that are there. I wish I wasn't a picky eater. I asked my psychology professor in class yesterday if it was possible to hypnotize someone to eat certain kinds of foods, so they would think they like it. He said, sure I don't see why not. So I replied, how much is this going to cost me? But he wouldn't do it, I was serious though. haha. Oh, well. I keep praying that God will change my taste buds and I'm going to keep praying that until the trip is over.

These past couple of weeks school has been going by way too fast. I got behind on two major papers (well, one major paper, the other one.....not so major). I couldn't sleep or anything for the past few days because I was so far behind and all I could think about while I was suppose to be sleeping was "Holy cow, I won't be able to graduate, when am I going to have time to get all of this done?!" But, this past weekend I got caught up on the major paper and last night I finished the other one. Ya! Now this week, I have to tackle all the papers that are due next week so I will be FRRREEEEEEE!

Oh, and I love how when I tell someone in my family something in secret...naturally my whole family knows, and probably others. :/ When will I ever learn? But I love them and wouldn't trade'em for anyone in the world......well.....except maybe for the guy that plays ryan on the O.C. :) :) ahahahaha, welcome to my world!

I can't stop this feeling anymore

Today, I had a break through...sort of. I never realized how a certain time of the month (only in March) I feel really yucky and sick and like I want to crawl into bed and never ever get out again. I realized today why I feel that way around the beginning of March. On March 2, 2004 (the year I graduated) one of my sister's really really close friends and others in Portland, died in a car crash. It was hard on me because he was suppose to graduate with me that year, and we sat beside each other in the back of our 2nd block class (History). He always, always, sat on his legs, never his butt. And he always talked while the teacher was up front, or read a book and tuned the teacher out. He had a habit of skipping, and he lopped when he walked. David Kyle McGee. I get sick whenever March comes around. I never knew why, but I do. His nickname was Scooby because he loved Scooby Doo. He always reminded me of Steve Martin, and whenever I see him, my chest squeezes and my heart hugs itself. I guess that place will always be there inside, the guilt that I should've been a better witness in class. He was sitting there for a reason, right beside me. It hurts to this day, 5 years later. It's not as bad as it was, granted, but I believe it's there as a reminder to never forget how fragile this life really is. I pray I never forget how quickly a life can go.
"A wave tossed on the ocean, a vapor in the wind"
I'm loved by a Mighty Mighty King. That alone soothes me.